Saturday, May 13, 2006
10:04 PM
spent 2 hrs tokkin to geraldine on thur nite... tokkin abt whether ntu is beta or nus beta. hahz. seems like both biz schs has its pros n cons, its strenghts n weaknesses. dunno leh, i guess alot of times we become realli swayed by general perceptions. the older generation, which generally makes up the management now, still seem to feel that nus beta den ntu. but i asked arnd ystd. asked my classmates n stuff, somehow they all quite unanimously feel that in terms of biz sch, they get the impression that ntu is beta. so i guess, if i was in mok's shoes, i'll probably juz end up choosing ntu. =p it's kindda stupid how sometimes such impt decisions in one's life becomes dependent on how the general public will view u in future... sorta of restrict ur ability to excercise ur freedom of choice in some sense. it's something like the fass i think. which is even dumber, cos the onli reason y nus ranks so high internationally is coz its fass is highly recognised. yet the employers here dunt seem to see them as an asset. this in turn prevents the fass frm attracting the best n the brightest, n then it ends up in a vicious cycle... such a pity, coz i think students who excel in arts n social sciences tend to haf very strong analytical skills as well as eq. dunno lah, it's juz a feelin i get...
which den brings me back to my own future... haiz... nxt wk is crucial sia... muz force myself nt to think so much abt it. but i juz saw robin's nick:"will i get to disrupt..." sigh, guess all those hu want to get into med sch wants it as much as i do.
met becky n rq on wed. coincidentally met gracie n chengz as well. so we ended up having dinner together at kenny rogers. oh yar now kenny rogers is nt self service liaoz, at least the new one at marina isnt. the food is still as nice as ever. aniwae, chatted 4 super long over dinner, think like half the tao nan geppers r flyin liddat. amazing sia. gracie, chengz n beckz r all flyin as well. suddenly felt so grown up there n then lor. it's like everyone's movin onto their path in life. all going places n chieving their respective goals... so different frm when we first knew each other lor. acty i realli value the chance to study overseas, coz i think nt onli makes u independent n grow up, bt also makes u appreciate ur family n frens alot more. but den i wldnt give up my chance to become a doctor 4 that. i dunt want it that much. though i didnt feel like this like say mebbe 2 months ago. frankly speakin, i was realli realli tempted by the mha offer. its like no need to spend a single cent. pple pay u 2 study, n in such a wonderful place. london leh, so shuang. get a chance to experience a whole different kind of lifestyle for 3 years. den can fly here, fly there, c things, visit frens, hahz, nubbad rite. den come back as a scholar. sounds so seh some more. that was this part of my brain tad was simply urging me to juz 4get abt med n get myself to england. but i guess, after careful thot, what i realli want is to still become the paediatrician that i want to be. i do realli hope i get in at this stage...
dunt feel like growing up... suddenly bogged down by so many decisions to make, so many consequences to bear. it's no fun at all lor. haiz. been having so many conversations abt the future and our aspirations, with various grps of pple... feel so tired juz thinkin abt the future now lor. y does life have to b like this... haiz. sad. 不想长大！！
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`