Monday, May 29, 2006
10:44 PM
today's the first time i acty sat down properly n watched two thirds of an episode of superband, hahz. im freakin impressed with juz-b lah. their chinese is even more accurate den some chinese i noe even though their entire grp is made up of malay guyz. amazing sia. n their voices r gd lor. nt the first time i saw their performance, but nvr fails to impress me each time. listening to chinese songs is one thing, but noeing how to sing them in proper chinese is another lor. they muz haf put in alot of hard wrk!!
went jogging juz now with geradline, jen, david n rebecca. siaoz lah, keep askin us run with them, one frm afs, one frm track n field. fast sia, but gd wrk out lah, use so much energy. come more today so warm lor.
by the way, i haf a black eye, hahaz. or sth like a black eye. coz i slept with my specs on ystd nite den poke the edge of my eye for the whole nite. so in the morning wake up gt blue black, look like kena punched. hahaz. muz haf been super tired to be able to slp thru the nite liddat. painful sia, whenever i blink or use the muscles arnd the eye den feel abit pain. can u imagine those pple hu realli kena punched, sure very pain one lor. hahaz, so peeps, beta nt get in2 fights kz. =p
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`
Sunday, May 28, 2006
11:27 PM
it's happening again. dunno y everytime during the aftermath of a disaster n i watch the news, always feel as though the countries r trying to outdo each other in offering help to the ctry in need. im nt sayin they shldnt b giving all the help they can, but when i listen to the news, cant help but feel that it's all such a childish competition to c hu can give the most money, n therefore, hu has the greatest influence in the global arena. like wth. the tsunami event was like that, this time the earthquake oso liddat. apparently, according to some reports i read during the time when the tsunami happened, whether some of these money wld realli appear remains questionable, while others may nvr ever reach those hu realli need them. y nt spend more time n effort in ensuring that help reaches those in need instead of simply pledging larger n larger sums to the disaster zone one after another...
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`
dunno whether to laugh or wad, ystd my whole day surrounded by same topic sia. hahaz, in the morning at the fsc picnic, in the evening at my class outing, in the nite in squad convo... amusing sia. whole world tokkin abt hu n hu attach lah, when gt married lah, blah blah blah. 人生大事。damn funny. dunno whether it's sad or wad, i cant rmb when's the last time someone 'moved' my heart, 已经很久没有心动的感觉了。。。 think it was in j1 and it's nt even someone i knew frm jc, hahz. can't rmb wad it feels like to be in love; to fall heads over heels 4 someone liaoz. sounds sad rite, but acty im okay with it lah. it's juz that llike geraldine puts it, there's the possibility of findin urself increasingly alone as all ur frens plunge into rships... hahz. true.
mebbe im picky den. hahz. to me, feelins very impt. unless i realli feel a strong sth, otherwise no matter how comfortable i m with the person, or how gd frens we r, i wunt budge a step further. a bit stubborn i guess. n abit perfectionist. but tads me... =p but den again, nt realli lah, my requirements nt high wad. i dunt mind pple's education standards, family backgrnd, blah, blah, all these i dunt care. i nvr thot that academic achievements were a way to measure a person's worth. it's what's in the person's mind and heart that's most impt, no?
u noe, some time back i had this realli wild dream of marrying a caucasian or someone with some realli exotic nationality in future, hahaz, coz eurasian babies super cute! ok lah, it's damn dumb, i was young den. but it's true, eurasian babies r the cutest, or rather most mixed blood babies r realli cute. saw so many when i wrked at great world. hahz, mebbe that's y i so attracted to go london rite. jkin lah. =p
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`
by the way, 4gt to mention juz now, im hep b negative. nth to worry abt liaoz. =p
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`
Saturday, May 27, 2006
11:57 PM
Just Some Random Thots
wonder if anyone else notices... dunno y the seats on buses where 4 pple can seat n face each other, sometimes they r green n sometimes not...
i wonder wad gayle wrote in her blog that caught a minister's attebtion or sth... she's gonna b featured in tmr's sunday times... interesting! (btw, she was my junior in dhs)
feeling strangely high now, though im suffering frm lack of slp... n i haf tuition at 9am tmr morning...
i think my frens still noe me best. grinz! =p
mok's rite, today's prob the last major event we're all organising together... sighz... abit bu she... dunno how to put it lah. 2 years ago, we stepped in there thinkin we were juz there to do cip. a cip there's mebbe more meaningful than some others they offer in sch, but that's all. guess it's fate. not everyone who volunteers there stick arnd 4 so long. guess we all managed to click, so here we r, 3 years down the road, still putting in our efforts n trying our best for the kids together. some even find their other halves there. so nan de rite. realli treasure this special grp of mates. realli had alot of fun n crazy times with them lor. hope pple still hang out often after we move to the hostel n the guyz go ns... muz hor...
still got lots to say, but its all in bits n pieces, super random, mebbe i'll try 2 piece them together tmr...
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
11:53 PM
was watching the 9pm show on channel 8 juz time. been stime since i last watched it. aniwae, nt sure how many of u out there watch this show but in 2dae's episode, ruoqi (acted by julian hee) suddenly lost all that he had overnight. his dad died of heart attack, den when his mum n gf rushed down to c him on a car, they met with an accident. his mum died n his gf is in a coma. suddenly dawned on me that sthing liddat realli cld happen to anione when u least expect it. cant imagine wad it wld b like. i think i will collapse lor, kinship, love... brrr... brings goosebumps juz thinkin abt it. hope nth like this happens to anione arnd me.
=lin=
p.s. i m now suddenly very worried that i have hep b. beta nt think so much. okay, im paranoid, but i cant help it, esp after i juz excitedly filled up all my forms to take med... hope nth goes wrong.
you make my life perfect-`
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
10:21 PM
<<没有人可以叫你宝贝>> 元气
成群的蝴蝶在飞 在我心里只有你最美
你被微微风吹起的发尾 不只是让人陶醉
你的妩媚 你的玫瑰 美的让人陶醉
谁能体会 最甜蜜的花蕊带给人的感觉
可是没有人可以 只有我可以 大声地叫你宝贝
你在我心里深处的地位就像一万个翡翠
baby 他们不可以 只有我可以 努力的叫你宝贝
我陪你干杯 我给你安慰 我是你宝贝
it's been a long time since i last surfed the class blog, den when i visited it today, was coincidentally playin this song on wmp. make me miss my sch life so much. feel like gg back hc walk walk some day, esp eric's blog entry... this song quit fits the mood with which to view that blog post =p
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`
Monday, May 22, 2006
10:59 AM
cant believe it took me 2 days to come here n blog abt it... but den again, i'm nt realli one hu blogs often. too lazy... hahaz. aniwae, yupz, my dream came true. abit dunno how 2 describe my feelings when i knew... very complicated... hahz. it's super roller coaster sia. barely 12 hrs after i was lamenting to shahri n jacq abt nt knowing if i'll get in, i chcked my status online and gt the result that i wanted. when qiuting told me on fri nite that can chck the nxt morning online, can hardly fall aslp that nite lor. den nxt morning when i woke up, first thing i did was switch on the computer n go online. honestly, i haven even wash my face n brush my teeth yet lor. hahaz. tad was how ganjiong i was. i dunno chck the webbie how many times to make sure it was my name written there lor. even resorted to log out den log in again to confirm b4 i went to tell my mum. okay, i admit, i cried when reality sunk in. hahz, dunno how 2 explain the feeling oso, think onli those hu want 2 get in2 med, dentistry, law that kind den will uds bahz. it's how badly u want it... some more b4 i chck super roller coaster lor. the moment i came online, lee kai told me he didnt get it, den my lil confidence shrunk by half, den later i cannt find my pin number, nearly turn my table upside down lor. realised alot of pple i thot will get in didnt in the end. so thankful that immediately went to huan shen the nxt day lor. =p now i oso dunno hu i noe will b my classmates... aniwae, congrats to qiuting 4 getting in2 dentistry as well!! =p
i kindda uds her dilemma bahz. no matter how much u want sth, no matter how much u feel tad thats the career path, when faced with such an inviting option, it's nt easy not to be moved. i went thru it as well... even though u look at how happy i m now 2 gain admission in2 med, but when mha offered me the scholarship, i once considered giving up med to study overseas. i realli desire takin time off frm the lifestyle in spore, learning to live by myself overseas, gaining exposure n seeing things frm another pov. furthermore, the lack of a need to worry abt finances is also very tempting. some more, there's always this, how shld i put it, more materialistic n showy side of me that keeps reminding me of how glam it is to b a govt scholar n how my career path in future will prob b smoother den most pple. a degree frm internationally recognised LSE will b more den sufficient to secure my future, n i dunt even hafta slog for 5 years for it... sounds super inviting rite? it's difficult not to be moved, but i guess at the end of the day, it's realli down to what kind of life u want in future, what kind of a role do u envision urself to b playin in the society in future. once u think it thru n firmly decide wad u want, den u prob wunt haf regrets in future. tads y even though now i muz pay the mha 1000 buckz, i mus take on a huge study loan frm the bank, i giving up my chance to experience life in london, no more chance of watchin epl matches life, no making frens n being classmates with pple frm all over the world, but i'm contented. life's abt making choices, u gain some, u lose some. i'm now one more step closer to my dream of becoming a paediatrician n i'm happy the way things turned out. =p
=lin=
p.s. thnx eugene, shahri 4 offerin ur frens help, thnx auntie norin 4 ur letter of recommendation, thnx everyone else for all your encouragement n confidence in me!! =p
you make my life perfect-`
Saturday, May 13, 2006
10:04 PM
spent 2 hrs tokkin to geraldine on thur nite... tokkin abt whether ntu is beta or nus beta. hahz. seems like both biz schs has its pros n cons, its strenghts n weaknesses. dunno leh, i guess alot of times we become realli swayed by general perceptions. the older generation, which generally makes up the management now, still seem to feel that nus beta den ntu. but i asked arnd ystd. asked my classmates n stuff, somehow they all quite unanimously feel that in terms of biz sch, they get the impression that ntu is beta. so i guess, if i was in mok's shoes, i'll probably juz end up choosing ntu. =p it's kindda stupid how sometimes such impt decisions in one's life becomes dependent on how the general public will view u in future... sorta of restrict ur ability to excercise ur freedom of choice in some sense. it's something like the fass i think. which is even dumber, cos the onli reason y nus ranks so high internationally is coz its fass is highly recognised. yet the employers here dunt seem to see them as an asset. this in turn prevents the fass frm attracting the best n the brightest, n then it ends up in a vicious cycle... such a pity, coz i think students who excel in arts n social sciences tend to haf very strong analytical skills as well as eq. dunno lah, it's juz a feelin i get...
which den brings me back to my own future... haiz... nxt wk is crucial sia... muz force myself nt to think so much abt it. but i juz saw robin's nick:"will i get to disrupt..." sigh, guess all those hu want to get into med sch wants it as much as i do.
met becky n rq on wed. coincidentally met gracie n chengz as well. so we ended up having dinner together at kenny rogers. oh yar now kenny rogers is nt self service liaoz, at least the new one at marina isnt. the food is still as nice as ever. aniwae, chatted 4 super long over dinner, think like half the tao nan geppers r flyin liddat. amazing sia. gracie, chengz n beckz r all flyin as well. suddenly felt so grown up there n then lor. it's like everyone's movin onto their path in life. all going places n chieving their respective goals... so different frm when we first knew each other lor. acty i realli value the chance to study overseas, coz i think nt onli makes u independent n grow up, bt also makes u appreciate ur family n frens alot more. but den i wldnt give up my chance to become a doctor 4 that. i dunt want it that much. though i didnt feel like this like say mebbe 2 months ago. frankly speakin, i was realli realli tempted by the mha offer. its like no need to spend a single cent. pple pay u 2 study, n in such a wonderful place. london leh, so shuang. get a chance to experience a whole different kind of lifestyle for 3 years. den can fly here, fly there, c things, visit frens, hahz, nubbad rite. den come back as a scholar. sounds so seh some more. that was this part of my brain tad was simply urging me to juz 4get abt med n get myself to england. but i guess, after careful thot, what i realli want is to still become the paediatrician that i want to be. i do realli hope i get in at this stage...
dunt feel like growing up... suddenly bogged down by so many decisions to make, so many consequences to bear. it's no fun at all lor. haiz. been having so many conversations abt the future and our aspirations, with various grps of pple... feel so tired juz thinkin abt the future now lor. y does life have to b like this... haiz. sad. 不想长大!!
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`
Sunday, May 07, 2006
11:53 PM
"Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)" Craig David
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late againI made you mad and dinners thrown in
(the bin)
But why are you making this thing drag on so long
(I wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly game
(silly games)
Don't think that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to meI don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you in a state
(in a state)
Giving my reasons but as you look awayI can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to meI don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.
you make my life perfect-`
it's realli pretty amazing how long it took me to post sth here. if u look at the date of my previous post, which was the day i set up this blog, its 3weeks ago. n i onli typed sth there so that i can c the template... hahz. i muz either b one lazy or realli busy person sia. its probably the former.
alot's happening at this pt of my life now, nt juz me, but the frens arnd me as well... frens with r/ship problems, frens hu haf juz gotten in2 a r/ship, frens deciding to go aust to do med, frens hu r already preparing 4 their mugging life overseas, frens hu r tryin to decide whether which course to take, which sch to go to. it's the time of the life where everyone's makin choices, choices tad affect the rest of their life... it's stressful i think. 4 me, everything's hanging on a thin thread. the thread that holds my dream to become a doctor. it's realli dicturbing at times when pple arnd u r discussing wad they shld do with their future, n i suddenly realise with a sinkin feelin that my future's nt realli 4 me to decide at this pt in time... haiz... the nxt 2 wks will b the crucial pt in the rest of my life. it decides wad my future holds 4 me. so far i've hardly been able to get thru a day without thinkin abt how much i want 2 get in2 med sch at least once. it's crazy, bt like i said, its sth tads nt 4 me to decide animore. hahz, guess tads y i didnt feel like gg home that day after my interview. didnt like the sense of finality abt it. it's as if the rest of my life was decided n finalised on that day... haiz, shld nt think so much abt it, i will 越陷越深。
finally gt some excercise 2dae, after like 2 wks lor. went cycling at pasir ris beach... i like cycling n the beach, always make me feel like im nt in singapore. hahz. dunno y oso. think coz singapore too urbanised, so like the feel of seeing the sea n the sand instead of buildings. =p been busy the previous coz of fsc meetins n numerous tuition sessions coz the kid is having his mid-years soon. as a result, there went my resolution to go running after wrk. muz realli keep my own promise nxt wk. thinkin of stoppin tuition after his mid-years, gettin realli sian of it. seriously, the onli thing that's keepin me gg is the money, so 没有良心 rite? hahz. coz its like either i go med sch which will b realli busi or i go london which means i wunt b in spore. den its like if i tell him stop in sep den very bad coz nearin his final exams. dunno leh, abit cant stand pple hu dunt wanna wrk hard themselves. its like i can teach u every wk. can think if questions n wrkshts 4 u 2 do. bt wads the pt if u r nt gg 2 take the effort to do ur part n rmb ur wrk well. lidddat no pt every wk i go there n nag at u 2 memo ur formulas, ur units, ur definitions... all these is need to make effort urself one, nt i can memo 4 him one. abit 看不下去, or dunno its 看不过去。 after all his parents spend money every mth 2 employ me, so he shld at least make the effort rite...
becky's bdae is a few days away. tryin to think of a way to make it special. after all she's gg to canada soon, i wunt get 2 celebrate it with her 4 the nxt 3 years at least. hope everyth goes well 4 her there.
=lin=
you make my life perfect-`